Selfish & Selfishness

Published on 04 september 2018

Selfish & Selfishness

Countless wisdom teachings (the vedas, sutras, tao te ching, etc) emphasise the value of a life lived in service to others.

Often, though, this gets misinterpreted through black and white thinking.

In Christianity it often looks like martyrdom – i.e. ‘I must sacrifice my needs and always put others’ need first before mine.’

The other extreme is ‘I do only what makes me happy because only when I’m joyful am I serving the world.’ which is a commonly held belief in modern day new age spirituality.

From my perspective, both offer earnest intentions to be of service but really, balance is only ever found in the middle. We swing from side to side whilst we learn how to steady ourselves in the centre. Neither here, nor there. Not too much of this or too little of that

Operating from the holographic principle, as within so without. We come to the knowing internal creates external. When there is no preference for “self” or “others” (which is only possible when we are not in danger and we feel safe) we can calmly check inside and cleanly evaluate which course of action feels the most congruent.

And this is only possible when we know that no particular course of action or external world experience can “make” us feel in any way. We feel how we feel based on the meaning we make up about the experience we have. We never not have CHOICE in the matter.

One choice we always have is non-resistance to what is. In other words, “how can I fully surrender and accept what is here now?”

This is the question I have been playing with today. How about you?


Divya Darling

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