INSIGHTS

I write regularly. In my writing I explore a range of topics like Identity, Perspective, Transformation, Conscious Authentic Relating. Writing is a tool for me to observe finer distinctions within these realms, which then supports me in my speaking, training, and coaching.

“I absolutely love your writing! I feel such resonance in your words because you write from your heart. It's real and a perspective not often publicly shared... I really appreciate that. I always look forward to your posts and I savour them.”

- Louise Vella

"Your authenticity and willingness to seek to arrive at what I see as mature, generous perspectives is a breath of fresh air. It's nice to have someone write about these topics, give a voice to them, normalise them, and seek to make sense of them (and not overanalyse them either)."

- Tim Longhurst

"When I read your writing I feel a sense of acceptance and possibility. It helps remind me how we each perceive things differently and since we're each on our own journeys growing and evolving, we can deepen in love. It's very special."

- Brett Hunt

Privilege and the Subconscious Mind

How to Approach Hard Conversations at Home & at Work

Did you know that the most effective way to influence another to feel something is to feel it yourself? And that’s the second step – feel that feeling throughout the conversation.
Privilege and the Subconscious Mind

Traumatising Experiences

A core principle in YSC is that we can’t believe anything we think. All of our thoughts are illusions – stories made up inside our own experience. To truly be present is to be with what is, in the absence of interpretation.

Privilege and the Subconscious Mind

Privilege & the Subconscious Mind

We take for granted that which we are accustomed to – in other words, our privilege. If we’re used to walking and moving about the world pain-free, we think that’s normal.
Privilege and the Subconscious Mind

Beautiful Souls

I’ve been observing how often I hear the term “beautiful soul” and I’ve been reflecting on that this morning. I reckon we all have a beautiful soul. Seriously, have you ever met anyone that didn’t? It’s our human psyches that can mask it (through judgement), so we can’t always perceive it.

Privilege and the Subconscious Mind

Ready to Level Up?

Several months ago I was auditioning a woman to work with because I liked what she had shared online and I wanted to experience how embodied she was and see if there was energetic alignment between us. I thought she might be able to support me with my focus at the time which was eliminating codependent patterns from how I do partnering.

being the work

Being The Work

After hearing friends recommend The Body Magician for a while, the most recent time Joyce Ong mentioned Bruce Scott‘s name, my body gave a little nod of encouragement so I booked a session with him for yesterday evening.

How Self Doubt Serves Us

How Self Doubt Serves Us

So I just got off Life Labs (the weekly group coaching calls we offer as part of Your Success Code) and today’s theme was around self doubt.More precisely, the importance of it. And here are some key takeaways from the call, which I thought were so important I wanted to share them with you.

Do You Have Bad Days

Do You Have Bad Days

I got an email from a friend recently that started with “From your posts you look like you’re doing well ~ although like the rest of us I’m sure there have been good and bad days.”

I have to admit something and I feel a bit nervous to confess this…

How I Avoided PTSD

How I Avoided PTSD

I didn’t want post traumatic stress, so I gave myself post traumatic growth instead. Here’s how:

Asking quality questions like: “what can I learn from this experience?”

Needs for Physical Touch

Needs for Physical Touch

Yesterday someone who is like a brother to me hung up on me.

It was right after I said “get this: did you know I can put myself into orgasm just by stroking my third eye a few times? How cool is that!”

Perceptions of Intimacy and Vulnerability in Relationships

Perceptions of Intimacy and Vulnerability in Relationships

Some months ago I was having conversations with someone about intimacy.

One of the things he suggested to me is that I didn’t show enough vulnerability for people to really connect with me.

Reflections on Generative Learning

Reflections on Generative Learning

I’ve been writing a lot recently! Partially because I don’t have a petulant husband demanding my attention anymore. And secondly, through writing my book I realised what an effective strategy it was for me to hold space for myself and integrate new insights.

Your Affirmations Aren’t Fooling Anyone, Least of All Your Unconscious Mind

Your Affirmations Aren’t Fooling Anyone, Least of All Your Unconscious Mind

Whilst it may seem as though affirmations/mantras are a valuable tool in reprograming our mind and training our brains to perceive the world in a more positive light, they actually aren’t helpful. In fact, I’d even go so far as to say they are unhelpful distractions. There are a couple reasons for this.

Couples Communication During COVID-19

Couples Communication During COVID-19

Whilst COVID-19 runs rampant across the world, we’re locked in our houses with our families.

This can be a beautiful opportunity for bonding and to cultivate the closeness you’d previously dreamed of, but seemed far fetched with everyone so busy with all their activities.

Working From Home? 3 Key Strategies to Support Your Effectiveness

Working From Home? 3 Key Strategies to Support Your Effectiveness

Some people love working from home because they find they can focus a lot more effectively than when they are at the office. They know how to prioritise and how to structure their day around what matters most.

Contrary to Popular Opinion…

Contrary to Popular Opinion…

The views I hold and openly express are confronting for many people.

Those of us who have been raised in Western society have been conditioned to be so externally referenced that the concept of letting our inner Self light the path and lead the way is incomprehensible.

Gifts with “Ugly” Wrapping Paper

Gifts with “Ugly” Wrapping Paper

It’s amazing to witness how frenzied people have become about the coronavirus.

I wonder what would happen if we responded to the climate crisis with the same manner of urgency.

22 Mental Health Strategies for Quarantine

22 Mental Health Strategies for Quarantine

Focus on what you can do right now. Let yourself do the things that you were always “too busy” to do before. Read, write, paint, draw, dance. Start a new project.

5 daily practices to help you manage fear

5 daily practices to help you manage fear

BREATHE EVENLY. Even breathing – inhaling for the same count as our exhale – for just two minutes is the quickest way to re-balance the nervous system. This is vital to release the fear and return to present state awareness.

Finding certainty in uncertain times

Finding certainty in uncertain times

It is a psychological need of ours to feel certain, to feel safe, to feel secure. We need these things.

It’s not them, it’s you

It’s not them, it’s you

Even though I’m based in Bali now, having grown up in the US, in my mind February 14th is associated with Valentine’s Day, which is associated with love.

You wanna know what I think of when I think of love? I think of how much I’ve improved in my own adoration of self in all its forms.

Which of these two types are you?

Which of these two types are you?

The relationship between awareness and change

I had a conversation with someone recently who said: “Awareness isn’t enough to change something. You can be aware of something and still not know how to change it.”

Feeling Triggered? Great!

Feeling Triggered? Great!

I suspect this could be a bit of a controversial post because it may trigger some people. But, it’s what feels alive in me to explore right now so I’m going there. Read on if you’re up for potentially being triggered. 😉

Does your Current Mindset Support your Success?

Does your Current Mindset Support your Success?

At Intrinsic Brilliance Institute, we are committed to providing top-notch Brain Training so you can effortlessly lead your best life. But first, knowing where we’re at and how we can improve takes evaluation.

Asking for support

Asking for support

There are many people who feel uncomfortable reaching out to others when they are in need of support (emotional, physical, financial, etc.)...

The Sickness We Can’t See

The Sickness We Can’t See

Can I share a personal story about sickness with you?

Almost everyone has someone in their life that they struggle to see eye to eye with- to connect with and understand. I consider myself extraordinarily blessed to be married to one such person.

If You Have a Problem, You Are The Problem

If You Have a Problem, You Are The Problem

It’s a bit of a controversial statement, I know. However, the reality that I live in is built on the presupposition that we are creating everything we experience. We’re perceiving it, so therefore we’re designing it in our minds.

Read This And Reconsider What You Used to Believe About Productivity

Read This And Reconsider What You Used to Believe About Productivity

It’s not actually the thing; it’s the thing under the thing that’s driving us.

I had a session with someone recently and it started with him saying, “I don’t go to my office as early as I used to and I want to go earlier.”...

Secondhand Love

Secondhand Love

It’s Valentines Day today which has got a lot of people thinking and talking about love, so I wanted to share my views on it with you. If it resonates – great. If not that’s totally cool too because at least it will offer you another lens through which you can reconsider and refine your own views on what feels right for you.

Ambition is not an issue… Here’s what is.

Ambition is not an issue… Here’s what is.

Recently I saw an Osho quote that said “How to find joy? Let your ambition disappear; ambition is the barrier.” 

I humbly and respectfully disagree. There is nothing wrong with being ambitious.

Are You Willing to Examine What Lies Underneath Your Beliefs

Are You Willing to Examine What Lies Underneath Your Beliefs

I remember when I was younger I use to love the 4th of July. It was my absolute favorite holiday. I would always dress in red, white and blue. I was extremely patriotic. But that was then, and this is now.

A Shining Example

A Shining Example

Last night I got an email from someone that started with “Divya you’re wonderful. Thank you for celebrating what has always felt like others have punished me for” and ended with “I appreciate you so much — thank you for being a shining example of who I want to be — someone who trusts every moment as perfect.”

Selfish & Selfishness

Selfish & Selfishness

Countless wisdom teachings (the vedas, sutras, tao te ching, etc) emphasise the value of a life lived in service to others.

Often, though, this gets misinterpreted through black and white thinking.

You’re Not Crazy, I Promise

You’re Not Crazy, I Promise

How many times have you heard someone call someone a version of crazy (insane, batshit, lunatic, etc.) because they behaved in a way that simply made no sense to any “sane” person?

The Difference

The Difference

As part of Your Success Code (YSC) every week I host a group coaching session called Life Labs. The purpose of LL is for all of us to stay curious about the results we’re creating in our lives, week by week.

Serenity Prayer

Serenity Prayer

This is the prayer that’s in my heart today. I miss Bali a lot and I do feel sad that I’m choosing not to live there right now.

What can happen after just one TBT session…

What can happen after just one TBT session…

Wiring and rewiring moments like that is quick. I have supported people to transform disabling though patterns such as phobias and traumas with as little as one session – if the person is truly ready and willing to LET IT GO.

Holding Projections

Holding Projections

read a blog on Handling Projections by Dane Tomas where he talked about holding projections.

He says: “lovingly accepting that people see you in certain way UNTIL such point as they are ready to see past that projection

How I Opened Up to Change By Finding Steadiness in Myself

How I Opened Up to Change By Finding Steadiness in Myself

The following is a blog post that was featured on Hubud Coworking Space’s blog: There I gave an inspiring talk at Pecha Kucha Night Ubud. I started off asking a crucial question: WHO-ARE-YOU? In this blog post, I was asked to tell my story of change and how my relationship with my-SELF evolved through it.

Mindset Work is a Must

Mindset Work is a Must

I went to an entrepreneur think tank (an event where a panel of people provide feedback on a business idea/challenge) today at HUBUD and met someone who hadn’t heard of a mindset coach.

My Secret Fantasy

My Secret Fantasy

When I feel overwhelmed by my vision and all the actions associated with it, I find myself fantasising about retreating to a cave in the mountains so I can meditate all day and just be. I suppose everyone has their own escapist daydream, and mine seems to have an ascetic flavour…

What a Horticulturalist and I Have in Common

What a Horticulturalist and I Have in Common

I’m like a horticulturist for humans… 

One of the things I love most about Bali is how lush and green it is. There are beautiful flowers all over the place. 

Self-doubt

Self-doubt

“Hi guys, I know neither of you need praise or to be reminded what beautiful, generous, kind souls you both are but I just had to share my overflowing sense of gratitude for your not only giving me the chance to join the program but for putting me in the very privileged position of getting to breathe in all the invaluable pieces of treasure that is birthed during the life labs calls.

The Progression

The Progression

Out for a walk along the Peel River this afternoon whilst chatting with one of my besties who has recently just moved across the world. She reminded me of how when I first moved to Sydney in 2011 I would ring her regularly, practically daily, crying with homesickness for the first couple months. And then the calls became less regular until they stopped altogether.

A True Hero’s Story

A True Hero’s Story

Last night I was with a group of women and we got on to the topic of hero’s stories. It seems to me that most people seem to think that a hero’s story is simply a “success” story, when in fact, it’s so much more than that.

Transcend and Include

Transcend and Include

Yesterday I was listening to an audio clip from Abraham Hicks, a well known spiritual teacher on the law of attraction that really resonated with me.


In it she clearly articulated the role of action and its relationship to alignment (predominantly the work I focus on with my clients).

Acknowledging the Divinity Within Humanity

Acknowledging the Divinity Within Humanity

This was the intention I set at the start of August. I thought it would be a good theme for the month, given my YTT intensive in the art & science of transformation. It bubbled up in interesting ways throughout the month.

Non-Negotiable

Non-Negotiable

When people don’t meet themselves – truly discover who they are at the deepest level – they often end up resentful and regretful in old age. Years of a life lived unconsciously will do that to you.

It’s All Relative

It’s All Relative

“You’re like the queen of automation,” Deb Maes said to me yesterday when I was scheduling payments. I giggled because compared to my friend and client Carl Taylor, Founder of Automation Agency, I am far from it.

Spot It, You Got It

Spot It, You Got It

I’m sitting in a gorgeous raw vegan cafe in Ubud after having spent the last two hours sorting through photos from my Yoga Teacher Training the past 30 days. My cheeks hurt from smiling and my heart feels full with gratitude, so full that some of it has been leaking out of my eyes…

The Space Between

The Space Between

The precursor to my grumblebum weekend I was feeling criticised. Fortunately, I’ve trained my partner Mikey so well that he knows my behavior is never about him and always a reflection of my internal state.

We’re Always Getting What We Ask For

We’re Always Getting What We Ask For

Your body does what you ask it to. It follows the instructions it is given. ALWAYS.


So my question for you today is HOW AWARE ARE YOU of what you’re asking?

Is it too ‘woo woo’ for you?

Is it too ‘woo woo’ for you?

Have you ever come across something that you know has helped other people and yet to you it seems like it’s just too ‘out there’? That the very concept of it is just something you can’t wrap your head around? This is the story of Carl.

The Trouble with Making Sense

The Trouble with Making Sense

Let me ask you something… How do you know what you know?

Now, I’m not referring to something you’ve learned. I differentiate knowledge from knowing. 

The Body’s Intrinsic Brilliance In Action

The Body’s Intrinsic Brilliance In Action

I have an interesting story to share with you. If you’ve been engaging with me for a while you know that one of the topics I’m most passionate about discussing is how this thing we call “I” – our identity – is fluid and ever-changing.

It’s OK Not To Be OK

It’s OK Not To Be OK

Yesterday I attended a funeral for a 17 year old boy named Sharne who hung himself. There were at least 300 others, people of all demographics, spilling out of the large church in the Western Suburbs.

The cleaner the mirror the quicker we see ourselves

The cleaner the mirror the quicker we see ourselves

The cleaner the mirror the easier it is to see ourselves. I often train other transformational coaches, and regularly reinforce this fact, reminding them that learning all the sophisticated change methodologies in our toolkit will never be as powerful as when we apply them to Self. 

Focusing on Fulfillment

Focusing on Fulfillment

I’m feeling inspired by a Tim Ferris podcast featuring Tony Robbins – arguably the most well known person in the personal development industry. He popularised coaching and by being a life coach, made it something available to more than just executives and peak performers.

Expressing Honestly

Expressing Honestly

My question for you this week, what would compel someone to walk home in the rain with a sprained ankle carrying a heavy box and an umbrella?

The answer in my case was fear.

When we transform they do too…eventually.

When we transform they do too…eventually.

Our experiences are a creation of the stories we tell about what happened – how we interpret the events that occur rather than the events themselves. This I know to be true with every cell in my being so when she confessed that she didn’t feel comfortable with me, I said with my usual equanimity “Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.”

When we transform they do too…eventually.

When we transform they do too…eventually.

Our experiences are a creation of the stories we tell about what happened – how we interpret the events that occur rather than the events themselves. This I know to be true with every cell in my being so when she confessed that she didn’t feel comfortable with me, I said with my usual equanimity “Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.”

Obligation or Inspiration

Obligation or Inspiration

How can we consciously choose which energy to be in and honour our chosen inspiration rather than obligation? We learn just as much from our misses, as our marks?

All Behaviours Have Underlying Positive Intent

All Behaviours Have Underlying Positive Intent

Whenever we aren’t achieving our goals with ease, there’s a part of us that isn’t fully aligned to them. My job as a brain trainer & coach is to uncover which part that is and what is most important to it.

How to End All Relationship Conflicts

How to End All Relationship Conflicts

How do we create conflict? How do we create disagreement or disharmony, especially with people that we love? If you’re human, I’m guessing you have had an argument with someone before.

Capturing a 3D Experience with a Single Point

Capturing a 3D Experience with a Single Point

Let’s illuminate our innate superpowers, as evidenced by the seemingly innocuous question: how was your day?

The question points to how we create experience through our perception and the metrics we choose to evaluate it.

Perfect Time

Perfect Time

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? I do. In fact, I believe that everything is always unfolding in perfect time, even if in this moment our brains may not perceive it.

The Metaphors We Live By

The Metaphors We Live By

I wonder, have you ever carefully considered the metaphors you live by? This theme has been coming up quite a bit in coaching this week, so I thought it prudent to share one of the ways I transformed my anxiety and overwhelm into ease and joy: through changing my metaphors.

The Business Is Love

The Business Is Love

In the past week so much has shifted internally and obviously my external experience of life has morphed accordingly. I’ll share with you the abridged version, ok? Full version will be contained in the book I’m currently writing.

Can we please stop victimising those who experience depression?

Can we please stop victimising those who experience depression?

We’ll eliminate depression when we stop referring to those experiencing it as victims
“Things do not change; we change.” Henry David Thoreau

What Do You Want to Be?

What Do You Want to Be?

Although it may appear to be a talk about the education system, Logan touches on something far more important than that. He addresses the distinction between what you are doing and what you are being. 

Changing Your Story Changes Your Brain Chemistry

Changing Your Story Changes Your Brain Chemistry

Let me share with you a story. Sam is a 10-year-old boy who has raised himself. His mother leaves him alone for weeks on end whilst she’s frolicking with the men that come and go like a revolving door. 

What Do You Mean By I?

What Do You Mean By I?

At the Happiness and Its Causes Conference there were many captivating speakers and topics, but one that was particularly thought provoking for me was Jean Twenge’s talk about narcissism. During it she presented her research that US University students have become increasingly more narcissistic over time.

Competency vs Mastery

Competency vs Mastery

Imagine that you’re stranded on a desert island. You’re lying on the warm sand, but you’re beginning to feel hungry. Alas, the only edible plants are on the other side of the island, but to get to them you have to climb really tall trees with prickly thorns or cross lakes with stinging fish.

Bliss Is Not Ignorance

Bliss Is Not Ignorance

“There’s an objective reality and a subjective reality,” he contested adamantly. I heard in his voice his desire to convince, but his eyes revealed a plea: prove me wrong they said.

The Bliss That Blossomed When I Eschewed Entitlement

The Bliss That Blossomed When I Eschewed Entitlement

On Monday night I gave a talk called Train Your Brain To Look For The Good: The Science of Gratitude as part of the Mindful Dinner Series I curate for V Stars and Brilliantly Blissful Beings.

Try on a Pair of Funglasses

Try on a Pair of Funglasses

I’ve recently started working with a lovely eleven year old boy. He is pensive, kind, and caught right in the eye of the storm—deciphering his place in the world.

Workshop with Words

Workshop with Words

Last night I attended a Workshop with Words with one of my favorite local wordsmiths: Bravo Child. The workshop was directed towards artists with an interest in poetry, specifically spoken word.

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

“It’s no Niagara Falls, but it’s still nice.”

That statement, offered jovially and on some level intended to express appreciation, had the effect of extracting me from the wonder of the moment – the smell of the crisp, clean rainforest air, the sound of the water rushing down the falls, and bright green color of the trees surrounding the falls.

Five Habits Holding You Back From Being Even More Brilliant

Five Habits Holding You Back From Being Even More Brilliant

Awareness is the first step towards taking new action and so my hope is that by making you aware of these habits you will learn something valuable that will assist you in taking new action. When you change these habits you’ll find yourself more content and living in line with your ideal.

“At the core of your being, you already are all that you seek.”

divya darling illuminating brain training

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