It’s not them, it’s you.

Published on 11 february 2020

It’s not them, it’s you.

Even though I’m based in Bali now, having grown up in the US, in my mind February 14th is associated with Valentine’s Day, which is associated with love.

You wanna know what I think of when I think of love? I think of how much I’ve improved in my own adoration of self in all its forms.

This growth delights me because I know that the more unconditionally we can love our self – the more fully we can accept ourselves warts and all – the more we’re capable of extending that gift to others.

And who doesn’t love being loved? We all do. Sometimes people feel unworthy of the intensity of the love they experience from another. But that’s just because it’s a greater volume than their self is used to receiving internally.

I find it incredibly sad that so many look externally and beyond Self to have that need met. Probably because I did so myself for longer than I’d like to admit. And it’s one of the things that kept me in a less than healthy relationship.

All love stems from Self love. I think of it like a threesome between my body, mind, and spirit. How devoted they are to one another – to honoring each other’s valuable contributions. It reminds me of a blog post I wrote about the 3 legs of the Success stool.

When any one of the 3 are out of balance, we are not truly steady and stable. So, if want a successful life, it’s our job to attend to all 3 equally. I invite you to consider, how have you been doing with that this week? Are there any adjustments you would like to make?

Remember that it’s a process, and all processes involve refinement. Reach out if you could use some support in the process of refining.


Divya Darling

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