Whenever we aren’t achieving our goals with ease, there’s a part of us that isn’t fully aligned to them. My job as a brain trainer & coach is to uncover which part that is and what is most important to it.

This week I had a session with someone who discovered that his was the loyal part that had been keeping him 20 kilos heavier than his ideal. Because when he’s fit he gets much more attention from women and it’s easier to remain faithful to his wife when he’s heavy because there isn’t any temptation to resist.

In speaking to the part that loves the attention, he recognised that he had previously used the attention from other women to try to make his wife feel jealous, which did not create a harmonious relationship. So I mediated a discussion between these two parts and from it he developed a new strategy that all parties agreed to: lose the 20 kilos while keeping his focus on deepening his love and connection with his wife.

Moral of the story: all behaviours – especially those that can appear “self-sabotaging” have a positive underlying intention. If you suspect you have a part that is holding you back from achieving your goals, enter our monthly lotto for a complementary coaching session.